Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My pussy is not your playground.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
