So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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