i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
