Your mouth is God's brothel.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm experimenting with sincerity
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
