My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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