It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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