Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
