You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
