I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
