On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
