My nipple is on Facebook.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
