I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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