this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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