i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
