at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my shit smells like andre
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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