Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just had sex on a roof
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
