maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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