Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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