Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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