I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
