the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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