Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
