I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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