Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
