Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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