i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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