Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Found the puke drawer
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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