The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am available for nakedness
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
