How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
