this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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