shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
