At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
