don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
