and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
