i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
