so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
