Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
