I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
