Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
