so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
