i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
