So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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