he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I want a musical about memes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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