i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
