Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
