You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
