his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
