You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i barfeds in our rink
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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