I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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