arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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