my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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