it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
