just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
