a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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