Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
