how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
