You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
